Date Rape and College Campuses

      On this first day (with students) of a new school year, NPR ran a piece on date rape.  In a further step to curb the crises, app developers have several new tools out for smart phones.  One mentioned on the program was "Circle of Six".  I think this is a great idea, and I highly promote it.  I am curious, though, to take it to the next level.  The idea behind the app is that you preprogram six friends numbers into the phone, with a message of "I need help with a bad date", and in a bad situation, you hit one key, and the message goes out.  That is great, and I don't want to deride from the potential power to help this will be.  I am curious about the psychological effects of the six if they miss the text.  Again, this is not to say the product should be redesigned or taken off the shelf.  Simply asking questions.  What if you miss the text, out on the town, unable to effectively think straight.  What if you have your phone turned off?  What if?  I guess that is why it is six people, in the hope that one will be around.  What if the attacker is in the circle of six, as most date rapes are associates/friends?

      The app is being tested on a college campus for two years.  That has got to be tough for the school to allow the program to come in, as it requires that the school admit that date rape exists.  We all know, logically, that date rape happens at major institutions, including colleges, high schools, and the military, as well as in every day life.  Saying that publicly does not mean that a school is willing to do the same.  No school publishes their level of attacks.  There is an incentive to get the numbers down, but you still don't want to brag.  The organization in no way allows or encourages the action, but they still take all responsibility, and are expected to work to curb the actions.  But to do it discreetly.  That is what intrigues me about a school choosing to pilot the program.  Colleges (school) are very risk averse.  On the surface, every parent agrees that they want their child's school to do more to protect the students.  But, to openly admit you have a problem is to put an active bug in the mind of every parent that there is a need in the first place.  Mental illness is a major issue in the world, and everyone is willing to reach out to others to share phone numbers and encouragement, but ultimately, how many of us are willing to take the long journey for treatment and support that our friends require when they do admit to it?  The stigma attached to these issues is so large, it is a surprise that anyone is willing to take on the task. Great work, William Woods.  

       Another app just out (I don't remember the name), allows a victim to catalogue the incident, then do three things:  Report immediately, save the details for later (time to process, understand, cope), or to put the perpetrator on the radar, and report if another issue arises with the same person.  Interesting.  Power is shifting.  And I am glad.  

Feminism (?) (!)

       I have heard the word (feminist) or some derivation or pejorative (femi-nazi) banded about in the media or my social community for years, but really couldn't put my finger on it.  Well, as my students are working on research projects around the end of the Victorian Era (and its influences in the United States) and the heart of the Progressive Era, I came across the term in our textbook.  It dawned on my that the first wave of feminist came about with Margaret Sanger, Alice Paul, and the ladies of this era.  In my Master's level Historiography and (oddly) a Foreign Policy course a few years back, the topic turned to the different waves of feminism in American history, and their use as a lens to study the era and aspects of influence. 
      Second Wave feminism comes about during the turbulent times of change in the 1960s and after.  The push was to unite women the world over under a common agenda, and in rebellion to the 1950s conformity.  Ok, fast forward.  Third Wave feminism is, arguably of course, what we are in right now.  Some wonder if we are not entering a fourth, but I don't understand it well enough to make that call, I can only report what I hear. 
      Now, to cross streams of thought.  I am a huge fan of the singer Pink.  I prefer strong, edgy girl singers.  Oddly, I also adore Taylor Swift (its my inner Tween heart, looking for simple love).  But, when I saw her latest video this past week, the video for "Try".  Her words are always powerful, and speak to me of a batter heart.  But, when I saw the beauty of her body (well toned and sculptured), the dance she and her partner do in the video, the simplicity of the background, and then compare that to the violence they perpetrate on each others bodies.  It immediately took me back to Eminem's "Love the Way You Lie".  Pink (and Eminem) have both spoken to abuse in relationships, of hurting (physically) their partners.  Rihanna has been openly in an abusive relationship.  When Eminem raps about abuse, it is a man writing of a masculine anger in a sense that many will recognize, and fits a traditional mold.  When Pink speaks of fighting with her husband or a lover, you get the sense of an empowered woman who is strong enough to stand up for herself.  But, this video made me wonder:  Is this fourth wave feminism?  Or is this third-wave continued, played out?  When the first wave women are fighting for a declaration of marital rape, control of their own sexuality, and a voice, now what is the goal of feminism?  Pink, Katy Perry, Madonna, Lady Gaga, Rihanna, etc, seem to have taken up the gauntlet for female sexuality, but are demanding more.  It's complicated.  They want to be left alone.  They don't want to be a voice for feminism and equality in the traditional sense.  They want to be judged on their own merits.  They are open with their failures and back down to no man.  So, are they 3rd or 4th?  I don't know. . . . If it helps, compare first wavers in Iron Jawed Angels, second wavers with  Janis Joplin in concert in 1970, and then Pink, as our latest (?) wave.  I know, I just presumed that she is third wave. . .

Images of men and women

So, what are we telling our kids?  What is important?  The clothing is "cute".  But, does it establish an understanding of what is expected?  Are there hidden messages?  What are your thoughts?

Sociology class connection

My youngest is totally obsessing on Shrek, and so, while I sit at the computer and research the American Cancer Society's financial connections, I have one eye on the television.  And apparently, one ear.  From the movie, Mona Lisa Smile, the song that Tori Amos sings while the girls dance at the wedding reception is Patsy Cline's You Belong to Me.  That same song plays in Shrek when the big green ogre is discussing swamp rat stew with the princess.  A remade version, both times, but interesting tie in.  Tori Amos attempted to be the challenge of her day, pushing feminist ideals when the mainstream wasn't really fully behind it.  Tori Amos can be seen to inspire Lady Gaga in her music and challenging the system.  Pink followd her pattern, also, especially when you watch the video Raise Your Glass.  Compare that to the album art of Boys for Pele, and there is no denying the influence she had.  Mona Lisa Smile is a feather in the cap of multiple female actors as they showed themselves capable of making a thoughtful movie with strong female leads.  Nice review of the creation of femininity.

Men vs. Women

I sat in Chipotle for lunch today.  My dirty little secret, eating out alone.  I pulled up my meal next to a very attractive young woman in her late 20s.  Behind me were several former students.  People watching is such a hobby of mine.  Anyway, it got me thinking about the ways that women differentiate themselves.  Pulling out a notepad (which at this writing is in my car, at the store, with my wife), I wrote up two lists.  One was how a woman can set herself apart, personally, from the chin up, and without surgery, versus how a man can distinguish himself from the chin up.  There had to be guidelines to govern this, and here they are:  the differentiation must meet the standards of a regular white collar workplace.  For the students, if Miege won't allow it, it didn't go on the list.  Feel free to add anything I leave out.  So, here we go:

Ladies first:
Hair-- Long or short cuts. Up or down.
       the feathers in the hair.
       bangs or no bangs.
       ribbons, bows, bands, or bobby pins.
      layered, curled, straight, or spikey.
  earrings-- small, big, round, dangly, need I go on.  And numbers. 
  Makeup.   Enough said.
  Eyelash attachments.
  Plucked hair, shaped brows, and drawn back ins--
  highlights
  Lipstick, eyeliner, etc. 
  Hair styles will change by the day. 
 
Men:  (just the standard, not a guy going out of his way to be unique)
Hair--one solid color (does not count for grays).  Not past collar.  can be spiked or naturally curly.
         shaved head acceptable.  A hair style can be done, but it will be the same daily. 
Facial hair is iffy.  mustaches may be more acceptable, but clean shaven is much more common.
Only blue collar commonly wear hats indoors, and almost always it will be a baseball cap, but hats        are never appropriate on men inside an office workplace. 


So, with all this noted, the question is simple:  Does the variety that women are allowed in their facial grant them greater freedoms or greater stress?  Does the ability to do so many different styles and recreate themselves daily allow greater joy?  Sound off. . . What do you think?  Who has it better, men or women.  I will say that I adore my short hair, as it makes life so easy.  I haven't brushed it in years.  On women, I adore a bald woman, as her face can shine, and you don't get distracted with busy hair.  On the other hand, a woman with long hair is usually an attraction for me.  Single women, dating women, and teenage girls seem to always have hair to the collar or beyond.  Mothers and grandmothers always seem to have short hair, and possibly curled hair rather than straight.  So, is long hair sexualized?

Comics Fight Breast Cancer

Found this link while playing around during Sociology Final.  Be sure to follow the links to all the characters featured. 

http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/sideshow/comic-superheroes-perform-breast-self-exams-215352919.html

This opens up several different questions:  Who is the target demographic, because what I remember of my days at the comic book store, there weren't that many women. Is this an attempt to get women to think seriously about breast exams, or just a chance for the men who know these characters to engage in a little self indulgence?  While I appreciate the concept of women's health, the figures of female superheroes have traditionally been drawn disproportionately.  Real women cannot compare to the creations.  And, Mozambique was the location that decided to run the ads.  Wow.  I don't know enough about the culture, but to use American comic book heroes in medical ads out of Mozambique demonstrates the power of American commercialism, and cultural transfer.

Commodification of Women

So, it has been a crazy week.  Take a view at the commodization of women in different roles, just that I have come across in the past two days:

Newsweek had a cover with Angelina Jolie, with a head shot.  Decorative and artistic, but why?  She has directed a new movie, and is advertising for it.  The article is well written, and powerful, when the focus is on the movie.  But, the need to feed the story of celebrity was clearly pushed by the editor.  The author gets out of her area of expertise, and we get to hear about personal things. . . In the middle of the article is a photo shoot of her.  Legs and all.  What is the purpose of this?  In an article that deals with mass rapes, repeated rapes, genocide, starvation, and other attrocities, why is the director who is trying to personalize a story of tragedy and shed light on an often ignored event, being turned into a sexual object?  Read the article, decide for yourself if the photo shoot is in line with the story, and decide for yourself if the director is sexualized.  Why don't we see Spielberg being sexy promoting Schindler's List?

The link to the Newsweek article follows: 
http://www.thedailybeast.com/newsweek/2011/12/04/angelina-jolie-directs-a-film-about-the-bosnian-war.html

The new season of The Bachelor begins soon, apparently.  Short promo.  I tried to find a copy of it.  Couldn't find it.  But, it is  simple.  Attractive brunette, red dress, alone, post-sunset, in front of the beach.  The woman begins to break down.  The sobbing is almost surreal.  It seems more like a fake overlay, it is so over the top.  No words, no tag lines, nothing as she sits their, before the camera, sobbing.  After about 15 seconds, the title The Bachelor, rolls in.  "The new season starts soon. . . "

Sociological Images at www.thesocietypages.com ran a 1980 copy of Siskel and Ebert's long-running movie review show.  In it, they discuss the slate of new movies that embody women as victims for men's base instincts.  Rape, murder and torture are brought to women that break the mold and try to be independent.  The two critics felt this was a direct response to the feminist movement, and the threat it created to men.  They discussed how these movies were unique as they were shot from the view of the killer, not the victim. 

And, as I try to get my thoughts on keyboard, I see a commercial for a show I have watch with a tad bit of guilt, but always justify as a study for Sociology.  Wife Swap has decided they will get on the celebrity band wagon.  To be fair, they have had special episodes where as they have swapped husbands, but that is not the norm for the show.  Again, it is the wife that is replaceable.  Is it the concept that the home belongs to the man, so that you can't kick him out?  Or, possibly, is it a fear that a man being bossed around by a woman and children is too much?  What dynamics are at work here?  Can a masculine gendered male leave his home and follow another man's plan? As I write it, I can't picture it. . .

We watched the The Help last night.  It is not a comedy, the way commercials make it feel.  There are some funny parts, but especially for white culture, it is an eye opener.  It is just a bit too easy to push it away over the top, though.  It reminds me of Slaughter-House Five.  There are parts that are deniable so that you don't have to face the hard facts.  As if the director didn't want to make the viewer feel too guilty.  That is too bad.  It could have been so good. . .

ABC and the New Television Season

As I sit and home tonight, working on my teacher goals, I do it in front of the television.  Always curious about popular culture, I gave Take the Money and Run.  On it, a pair of regular folks gets $100,000 to hide for 48 hours.  If they succeed, with two detectives on their tail, they win the money.  If they detectives find the money, the cops get the money.  In this episode, it is two male domestic partners.  What makes this episode so interesting is the very real reactions of the two characters who seemingly prepared in advance for the event.  When the jail doors shut, everything changed for them.  Watching the the supposed stronger character fall to pieces  and (spoiler alert!) quit the game early, we learn a lot about te role of prison and solitary.  This ties nicely with the Stanford Prison Experiment. 

Combat Hospital is set in Afghanistan, with mixed Canadian, Australian and American military medical personnel.  The scenery is very good, the emphasis on the stresses of combat and hospital trauma.  What set Tuesday night's episode (August 23) apart was a nice discussion of the role of a woman in the world.  Two Western women spoke of the concept of wearing the burka and protecting oneself from the thoughts of men.  It povides an important opening for a discussion of gender relations and agency that is overdue.  Let's have it. .  .

Gender differences in the workplace. . .

He Said, She Said: Communicating between Genders at Work

By Beth Banks Cohn, Ph.D. and Roz Usheroff, co-authors of "Taking the Leap: Managing Your Career in Turbulent Times ... and Beyond"


If you think it's difficult to discern what your significant other is really trying to say to you, consider how complicated communication between genders gets when you throw office politics, power struggles, and work challenges into the mix.

At work, men and women use strategies in communicating with each other that the opposite sex may view negatively. Often, misunderstandings can be avoided when co-workers look beyond personalities and consider the different ways men and women communicate.

Let's look at a few examples from both sides.

Men's Behavior
Trash talk
Men use negative banter, joking, teasing and playful putdowns as a way to subtly keep themselves at the top of the power hierarchy. Such "trash talking" is a common component of male relating.

What women think: Making others feel small is decidedly not a female trait. Women tend to see putdowns as arrogant or hostile.

The middle ground: In general, trash talk is usually harmless, as long as both parties "play." When both parties engage in it, it can even be a way to bond around a problem, such as a trying work assignment or demanding sales quotas.

Prideful self-sufficiency
You've heard the jokes about men not asking for directions? In work settings, males sometimes ask few questions, fearing that doing so will communicate to others that they don't know something. Males tend to equate knowledge with power and don't want to diminish their image by showing they lack the necessary know-how.

What women think: Women see this behavior as childish and even arrogant. They also look at it as a giant waste of time, figuring it is more time-effective to ask a question, get the answer and move on.

The middle ground: Some workplace cultures discourage questions, and indeed make people feel self-conscious about asking too many. In meetings or other settings where everyone needs to be on the same page in order to develop the best strategy, both genders need to find ways to get and give clarification.

Not gving feedback
Because men don't solicit feedback, good or bad, they also don't give feedback in return. Males don't want to be criticized, feel that compliments make someone less effective, and think women who seek feedback are "needy" and "high maintenance."

What women think: Women think men don't value their contributions and are overly critical. They may even feel that men withhold positive feedback in order to avoid giving women promotions or good projects.

The middle ground: Constructive feedback should be built into the workplace culture. Both genders need to find a way to make it a tool for improving performance and productivity.

Women's behavior
Equality-minded
Women try to maintain an appearance of equality amongst everyone. They are concerned with the effect of the exchange on the other person and want to make sure everyone feels like a worthy contributor.

What men think: Men tend to see this as a sign that women lack confidence and competence as leaders. They feel it makes women look weak.

The middle ground: Females can wield an enormous amount of power by orchestrating collaboration and enlisting cooperation between many parties. Men can learn from this. Nevertheless, women in leadership positions need to maintain a clear boundary between their authority and that of others.

Outside-in negotiating
Females want to see the full picture and make sure everyone's on the same page with the same level of understanding before making a decision.

What men think: Since this is the exact opposite of what men typically do, men think this tactic means women don't have a clear position or aren't decisive enough.

The middle ground: In negotiations, it's imperative to know all the factors involved before making a decision. On the other hand, trying to make everyone happy is not how leaders make good decisions. A balanced blend of female thoroughness and male decisiveness is ideal.

Likely to downplay certainty
Women don't want to appear pushy or uncaring of others' positions or ideas.

What men think: Men think, therefore, that women aren't certain and need someone to take charge.

The middle ground: Moderate self-deprecation and humility are good qualities in leaders. But always deferring to others' opinions and perspectives will be perceived as a sign of weakness. Find a middle way.

When it comes to communicating between genders in the workplace, the cardinal rule is this: Don't judge. Instead, try to look carefully at your co-worker's behavior, consider that some of it may be gender based, and try to gain insight on how this behavior serves or does not serve his or her objectives. If you want to step in and give support, do it from a position of understanding.